The Wizarding World of Butterscotch

Last month, my boyfriend, Shaun, and I went to Orlando to visit The Wizarding World of Harry Potter with his extended family. In her books, J.K. Rowling describes, with great detail, a town just outside the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry called Hogsmeade. There's the pub, The Three Broomsticks, where students drink pumpkin juice and butterbeer, and various shops to buy candy and supplies. An extremely creative art department came up with a spot-on recreation of the books' descriptions for the Harry Potter film series, and that same crew was hired by Universal's Islands of Adventure in Orlando to recreate Hogsmeade as a theme park.


Once we found out that they had also recreated butterbeer, well, of course we had to try some. I didn't put much thought into what butterbeer would taste like while reading the books, because it was a made up term with no basis in reality. I knew it wasn't actually beer, because children were drinking it, but that was about as far as I ever thought. So after walking through the gates to Hogsmeade, we went straight for the giant red barrel with a huge sign reading "BUTTERBEER". I bought Shaun a plain one, but got mine frozen. I watched them pull the tap and saw the fizzy substance pour into the mug, then they moved the mug to another tap and white foam was carefully laid on top, like the head of a real beer. Cute.

This was the sweetest and most delicious thing I had ever tasted. It had an overpowering butterscotch flavor, but with an even sweeter marshmallow-like head. I knew there had to be about 600 calories in this mug and I didn't care. I drank the whole thing. As I drank, I picked apart all of the flavors. Shaun and his cousins were insistent that the head was vanilla frosting, but to me it was clearly marshmallow. I just knew it. The soda itself was definitely butterscotch, but there was something else there. Creamy and vanilla. Like cream soda. And after finishing the last gulp, I turned to Shaun and declared, "I could totally make this."

Once we got home, I went to work assembling the ingredients and made a trial batch. I handed the mug to Shaun, and after the first sip, he screamed, "Holy shit! You just made butterbeer!" And so, in time for part 1 of the final chapter in the Harry Potter movies, I give you a true wizard's brew.

Butterbeer

1 bottle of good quality cream soda (I used Virgil's)
2 ounces of butterscotch syrup (such as Monin)
2 tablespoons of Marshmallow Fluff
1 tablespoon of heavy whipping cream

Put the marshmallow and cream in a bowl and whisk together using a fork until completely blended and smooth and set aside. Next, pour the soda and syrup into a large 2-cup Pyrex measuring glass at the same time, so they mix during the pouring process. Then pour half into one mug and half into another. Top both mugs with the marshmallow mixture and let sit for a minute. The carbonation of the soda will begin to activate the marshmallow, and it will foam up even more. Enjoy the sugar rush!

Makes 2 servings

I Am Not a Witch

I’ll freely admit, there are weeks when nothing eventful happens. I will sit at my computer and haven’t a clue what to write about. Years before I would sit staring at a blank page, now it’s a blank screen. I’ve even been known to ask the little Microsoft Word “help guy” in the corner for ideas. He usually just scratches his little computer head and whistles softly.

However, I know from experience that if I sit here long enough with my blank monitor and my blank thoughts, something will land in my lap. Either one of my daughters will call with a fascinating cooking question, or the dog will go by on roller skates, or I’ll hear something pertinent on the news.

Earlier this week when I thought all was lost, I saw a Christine O’Donnell ad on TV telling Americans “I am not a witch.”

Thank you Christine; thank you, thank you, thank you; just in time for the start of the Halloween season. There she is on camera in a simple black dress and white pearls with a gray-blue swirling smoky background, obviously bubbling over from the cauldron. And, do you know what goes beautiful with a simple black dress and pearls—black and orange striped socks. You know she’s wearing them in that video.

Christine goes on to tell the audience, “I’m nothing you’ve heard. I’m you.” Now, for all the witches out there watching this campaign ad, they’re thinking, “well, that’s a misstatement. If you’re not a witch how can you be me if I am a witch?”

This is the time of year when we all should embrace our inner witchness. I actually do that all year ‘round. I am often known to cackle at the kitchen stove when stirring a big pot of something or other.

For all of you out there who have a “secret “ recipe or a recipe with a “secret” ingredient. Come on, we know what you’re doing; you’re brewing!

Christine then goes on to announce, “I didn’t go to Yale.” Well, duh. Of course you didn’t; you went to Hogwarts. You might have been just a C student, Christine, but then so was Bushy and he bragged about it. Be proud of your Hogwarts affiliation. Your alumni card should be arriving in the mail soon.

I’m sure that Christine didn’t write this ad. What’s scarier and creepier is that she read it and said, “Yeah, that’s great. Let’s go with this one.”

I can’t wait to see her next ad addressing masturbation.

Witch’s Brew

A nice garnish would be some very thinly sliced apples or oranges, peel and all. Use your mandoline for this.

4 cups water
1 ½ cups sugar
2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger
12 whole cloves
4 cinnamon sticks
4 whole allspice berries or 1 teaspoon ground allspice
2 quarts apple cider
3 cups orange juice
Juice of 3 lemons

Stir water and sugar together in a heavy large saucepan. Add ginger, cloves, cinnamon and allspice. Bring to a boil, stirring until sugar dissolves. Cackle while you stir. Reduce heat and simmer 20 minutes.

Strain syrup and return to pan. Add cider, orange juice and lemon juice. Bring to a simmer. Serve hot. You can spike this with rum or brandy, if you witch.

Makes about 14 cups.

The Versatility of Short Ribs

Restaurant Week is a 12 day celebration of food in Los Angeles, with participating restaurants serving up three-course prix fixe menus for $44 and under. Every year I undoubtedly come across a food trend I wasn't aware of while perusing the menus. Last year, sauteed scallops were offered at almost every restaurant, but this year the trend is clearly short ribs.

Spanish red wine-braised short ribs with olive oil crushed potatoes. Braised beef short rib with toasted couscous, wilted greens, and wild mushroom red wine sauce. Short rib risotto with port glaze and parmeggiano reggiano. Spice braised short ribs with creamy polenta and crispy shallots. These are just a few of the entrees listed.

If you're not familiar with them, short ribs hail from the chuck and plate primals, near the shoulder of the cow. They've got lots of connective tissue, which makes them perfect for braising. You can also slice the meat thin (a la Korean galbi), marinate it, and grill it up fast. Braising makes the ribs a bit more versatile, as the low, long exposure to heat and liquid render out all the connective tissue into gelatin, and this gives you the tender, falling apart, texture you want for stews. I like to use short ribs for more unconventional foods, however. You can replace just about any cut of steak with short ribs and make it into something new and wonderful. Beef stroganoff becomes absolutely mouth watering with the addition of short ribs, pulled apart first, and mixed in with all that creamy, mushroomy, awesomeness. Tacos become elevated. But my personal favorite, is adding short ribs to grilled cheese.

Most braised short rib recipes throw in all sorts of vegetables and herbs with the assumption that you're going to make a gravy from the remaining liquid. But for grilled cheese, that's too much unnecessary work. So here's my recipe for simply braised short rib grilled cheese sandwiches.


Short Rib Grilled Cheese

12 ounces of boneless short rib, cut into 2 inch chunks
1 tablespoon of olive oil
1 cup of beef broth
¼ cup of red wine
½ a white onion, chopped
1 bay leaf
8 slices of monterey jack
8 slices of good quality sourdough bread
1 tablespoon of butter

Preheat the oven to 350°. In a large pot, heat the olive oil over medium high heat until it becomes glossy looking. Pat the ribs dry and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Sear the ribs on all sides for just a few minutes per side, then set aside on a plate. Add the chopped onions to the pot and cook until softened, about 10 minutes. Add wine to the pot and scrape up all the browned bits. Let the wine simmer until almost cooked off, about 6 minutes. Add the beef broth and bay leaf and bring to a boil. Add the ribs and any accumulated juices to the pot, cover, and cook in the oven for 1½ hours.

Once the ribs are done, pull them from the pot and place them on a plate to cool. Once cooled enough to touch without burning yourself, pull the ribs apart into shreds. Pre-heat a cast iron skillet on the stove top while arranging the sandwiches. For each sandwich, place one piece of monterey jack, then layer the meat on. Top with another slice of cheese and the bread. Heat butter on the skillet and grill the sandwich on each side for 2 minutes. Slice each sandwich diagonally and serve.

Serves 4

Put 'Em Up!

Summers in the Catskills make you feel like a socialite. Calendars are filled with events, many of them overlapping and competing for your attention and attendance. This mad rush of going to concerts, theater shows, gallery receptions, lawn sales, parties, and fairs makes for a whirlwind of activity. 

By September, the winding down of events is almost a relief and prepares us for the void that is winter, when watching the mail lady stop at the roadside mailbox is an occasion. 

In the Catskills, it is seasonally feast or famine. It’s especially like that in the vegetable garden as it winds down as well. 

I’ve picked the last of my tomatoes and cucumbers. There are some straggler zucchinis and—until the frost comes—green beans, peppers, and my second crop of lettuce and peas. The last to leave the party is the kale and Swiss chard. They’ll dance on into the snow. 

If these buckets of tomatoes and baskets of zucchini don’t get cooked up and eaten they’ll be food for the compost pile. This is when I take dust off my canning supplies and leaf through relish, chutney, and pickle recipes for interesting recipes to “put up.” 

There are some really wonderful canning books available. My first book on canning was from the makers of the Ball canning jars, the Ball Blue Book to Preserving. Back then it was a short, thick booklet with basic pickle, jam, and jelly recipes, and loaded with instructions for the novice canner. I made my first peach jam following the instructions in the book. It has since been updated. It’s a real hardcover book with 400 recipes for both rookies and pros. Not only is the peach jam recipe in it, but Thai Hot and Sweet Dipping Sauce, as well. The times they are a changin’. 

Here’s a list of some other great canning and preserving books I found really wonderful. I absolutely drooled over some of the exquisite photos. My idea of a centerfold photo is of a jar of Sticky Fig Jam. 

Preserving Summer’s Bounty by Rodale Food Center 

The Joy of Pickling by Linda Ziedrich 

The Joys of Jams, Jellies, and Other Sweet Preserves also by Linda Ziedrich Canning for a New Generation by Liana Krissoff 

The Complete Book of Small-Batch Preserving by Ellie Topp 

The Big Book of Preserving the Harvest by Carol W. Costenbader  

Put ‘Em Up by Sherri Brooks Vinton 

Preserve It by DK Publishing 

Well-Preserved by Eugenia Bone 

You Can Can by Better Homes & Gardens  

How to Survive the End of the World as We Know It by James Wesley Rawles (I just thought I’d include it. You never know.)  

Williams-Sonoma The Art of Preserving by Rick Field 

You can find these books, and many, many more about canning and preserving at online bookstores, brick and mortar bookstores, and at the best resource, your local public library. If your local library doesn’t have a specific book on its shelf, they can get it from another library that does if you just ask. 

I’ll be making the following chutney today from the Preserve It cookbook to use up the abundance of green beans and zucchini from my garden. I have mostly Romano beans and will be using them instead of green beans. Romano beans are flatter and wider than standard green beans. Typically, they are cooked with tomatoes. I usually cook them with tomatoes, garlic, onions, and a bit of hot pepper until the tomatoes cook down a bit and then serve it with pasta.

Green Beans and Zucchini Chutney
 
1 ¼ pounds green beans, thinly sliced
4 zucchini, thinly sliced
3/4 pounds cooking apples, peeled, cored and chopped
2 onions, finely chopped
2 ¼ cups light brown sugar
1 teaspoon mustard powder
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon coriander seeds
2 cups cider vinegar

Put the beans, zucchini, apples, and onions in a large stainless steel saucepan; add the sugar, mustard powder, turmeric, and coriander seeds. Pour in the vinegar and stir.

Green beans (I used Romano beans) sliced small and in the pot.

Cook over low heat, stirring until all the sugar has dissolved; bring to a boil and cook at a rolling boil, stirring occasionally, for about 10 minutes. Reduce to a simmer and cook for about 1 ½ hours, stirring from time to time, until the mixture thickens. Stir continuously near the end of the cooking time so that the chutney doesn’t stick to the bottom of the pan.

Pint jars bubbling away. Just 10 minutes does the trick.

      Ladle into warm sterilized mason jars, leaving ¼-inch head space and making sure there are no air pockets. Process in a boiling water bath for 10 minutes; cover and seal with a two-part top, and label. Store in a cool, dark place. Allow flavors to mature for 1 month before using and refrigerate after opening. Make 2 ¼ pounds or 3 medium jars.

The finished product. I made half-pints and pints, some to keep and some to give as gifts.

If It's Wednesday, It Must Be Meatloaf

In another life, I worked at an ad agency in the city along with someone I’ll call Donny, and someone else I’ll call Jerry. Donny was a little short white guy who was a newlywed and wore a wig. He didn’t think anyone knew he was wearing a wig, but back then it was painfully obvious.

Jerry was a 12-foot tall black guy who was outwardly friendly, but with a huge chip on his shoulder. I didn’t care; though I was a third of his height (okay, I exaggerate) I was able to knock the chip off and we got along great.

One day, as we were cleaning up at the end of the day, Donny announced, “oh boy, I’m having meatloaf tonight.”

I stuck my head up and peered over the partition, “How do you know you’re having meatloaf? Did your wife phone?”

“No,” replied Donny. “It’s Wednesday; we always have meatloaf on Wednesday.”

Jerry glanced over his partition (he didn’t have to raise his head).

“What?” I said.

Now this is where it gets good. Donny then told me (actually us), that spaghetti and meatballs were Monday, chicken cutlets were Tuesday, meatloaf was Wednesday, hot dogs were Thursday; well, you get the picture.

Jerry and I looked at each other. That’s all we had to hear. Well, of course our ribbing of Donny entered over into other aspects of Donny’s married life.

Imagine mealtime with no surprises, no variation. Sometimes, I think of Donny and wonder if he’s still married to this woman and if he’s still having chicken cutlets on Tuesday.

On the other side of the spectrum is my younger daughter. She’ll phone me periodically with a question that goes somewhat like this:

“Mom, I’ve got pork chops, an onion, a pear, and rice. What could I make for dinner?

It’s interesting because usually her question is generally her answer as well. I think she just wants reinforcement that, for example, pork chops with sautéed onion and pear over rice doesn’t sound crazy.

I bought her a great cookbook online and had it sent to her: “50 Ways to Cook Everything.” You look up an item, say pork chops, and it has 50 different recipes to prepare it. It’s perfect for her.

The day after it arrived in the mail, she phoned me.

“Thanks for the book, mom. It’s great. So, I have ground beef, one red bell pepper, onions, potatoes, and olives. What should I make?

Cuban Picadillo

I bet you thought I was going to suggest chili. I just knew she’d have beer on hand; after all, she’s in the Navy. Some things actually are predictable.

1 pound ground beef
1 large onion, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup beer
One 15-ounce can chopped tomatoes
2 tablespoons tomato paste
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
A few drops Tabasco sauce
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 pound potatoes (about 2), peeled and cubed
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup pitted green olives, quartered

In a large skillet, cook the ground beef until it is no longer pink. Add the onion, bell pepper, and garlic, and cook, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables start to soften, about 3 minutes.

Stir in the beer, canned tomatoes and its juice, tomato paste, the spices, and Tabasco sauce and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, in a large skillet in hot oil over medium-high heat, sauté the potatoes, stirring occasionally, until golden brown, about 8 to 10 minutes.

Add the potatoes, raisins, and olive to the meat mixture. Cook, covered, until the potatoes are just done, about 10 minutes longer. Serves 4.

Herbal Renewal

Since I am a condiment addict, this is the time of year I just love. With my garden overflowing with fresh summer herbs and vegetables, I am at the ready with a variety of sauces to fill up my refrigerator and grace my meals.

When I look at my dill, with its filigreed leaves waving in the breeze, I don’t just see dillweed, I see a homemade horseradish sauce.

That spreading mint among the gladioli will make a fine tzatziki sauce. Tickling my abundant parsley, I’m not just admiring the bright green leaves, I’m thinking about the chimichurri sauce I can make with it.

Not only is my herb and vegetable garden home to fresh summer herbs, I have them potted and residing on my deck and patio. Later on, when the air turns chilly in the evenings, I’ll bring them indoors to extend their growing season. I have plans for some of that rosemary doing so well now.

I think of my herbs as a growing investment from which I can reap the dividends.

Oh, I could go on and on about the merits of growing fresh herbs, but I’d much rather use this space to share some recipes with you.


Horseradish Sauce
This sauce is amazing with roast beef or as a dipping sauce with crudités.

2/3 cup sour cream
1/4 cup fresh or prepared grated horseradish
2 scallions, finely chopped
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon chopped fresh dill

Combine all ingredients together in a bowl and mix until well blended. Allow the mixture to sit for 15 to 20 minutes to blend the flavors. Makes about 2/3 cup.

Tzatziki Sauce

This sauce is a staple in Greece. Serve with lamb burgers on pita bread or as an accompaniment to hummus and baba ganouj.

1 cucumber, peeled, seeded and grated
1 clove garlic, minced
1 cups plain yogurt
1/2 tablespoon fresh mint, finely chopped
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Lightly salt the grated cucumber, place in a colander or strainer, and set aside to drain for half an hour. In a bowl, combine the drained cucumbers with the remaining ingredients. Chill for 30 minutes before serving. Makes about 1 cup.


Moroccan Charmoula
This is an all-purpose spicy cilantro pesto. Traditionally served with fish and seafood, you can also use it as a marinade, or as a fresh sauce over baked and grilled fish, chicken and vegetables. There is no set recipe for charmoula; the blend of spices and herbs may vary. However, it always contains cilantro, olive oil, and lemon.

1 cup lightly packed cilantro, leaves and stems
5 cloves garlic, chopped
3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
Zest of 1 lemon
2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1/4 to 1/2 cup olive oil

Place all ingredients, except vinegar and oil, in a blender or food processor and pulse to coarsely chop. With the motor running, slowly add the vinegar and enough of the oil to make a thick paste. Start with ¼ cup oil and add more to get the desired consistency.

Allow the sauce to sit for 20 to 30 minutes to blend the flavors. This sauce will keep for up to 1 month in the refrigerator. Makes about 1/2 cup.


Tomato-Mint Pasta Sauce
Serve this over the cooked pasta of your choice. With tomatoes ripening in the garden as we speak, this quick and easy recipe is perfect for late summer.

3 shallots or 1/2 red onion, minced
1 ½ pounds fresh tomatoes or canned tomatoes, peeled, seeded and chopped
1 handful of fresh mint leave, finely chopped
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Grated zest of 1 lemon, for garnish

Put the shallots and tomatoes in a large skillet, bring to a simmer, and cook for 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in the mint, salt and pepper. Toss hot drained pasta with the sauce and garnish with grated lemon zest. Serves 4.

Cuba Libre

As a latchkey child growing up in Brooklyn, my afternoons were pretty much the same. I would run home after school, open the apartment door with the key that I wore around my neck, lock the door behind me, throw down my schoolbooks, tele­phone my mom at the dress factory where she worked to tell her I arrived, and put the TV on to watch Million Dollar Movie.

I watched Million Dollar Movie every day after school no matter what was showing, and therefore viewed the same movie all week long. I loved the movies as much the fifth time I watched as I did the first.

Of course, I had my favorites; I loved William Powell’s Thin Man movies, adored W. C. Fields, and Laurel and Hardy; but my very best, all-time favorites movie stars were Sonja Henji and Carmen Miranda.

Sonja Henji could do nothing wrong in my eyes and Carmen Miranda, well, now, she was in a class all her own. Anyone who would dance around with a bowl of fruit on their head with utmost pride and dignity was #1 in my book.

Ultimately, along with Carmen Miranda I became interested in Cuba and its culture. Did you know that when sugarcane prices soared after World War I, scores of restaurants, mansions and casinos were built in and around Havana?

During the next four decades, vacationers flocked to Cuba for the beaches, casinos, exciting nightlife, and Cuba Libres. American touristas were returning home from Cuba with Cuban shirts, recipes for daiquiris and Havana cigars.

All this ended after the revolution led by Fidel Castro in 1959. But my infatuation with Cuba continued. Hundreds of thou­sands of Cubans left their beloved home and most of them settled in the U.S. There are now well over a million Cuban exiles in this country.

One of those exiles became the janitor of the building in which I lived as child. Manuel was as close to Carmen Miranda as I could get in my young years, and I treated him like a movie star. I gave him my comic books after I read them. He told me they helped him with his English. I’m sure they did because shezam and gadzooks became staples in his vo­cabulary.

Years later when I found myself in Amsterdam, I found a shop that sold pipes, tobacco, and cigars. I brought my fa­ther back a box of Havana cigars, something not available to U.S. cit­izens. The owner of the store took the cigars out of their original box and put them in another brand’s box, so customs wouldn’t confiscate them. My father treated them like gold and only smoked them on special occasions.

Cuban food reflects this Cuban spirit: a hearty appetite for en­joy­ing the sweetness and richness of life, and a respect for tradi­tion. The food also reflects the history of Cuba and the diverse groups of people who have inhabited that beautiful island, from the Spanish explorers, to the African slaves brought there to work the planta­tions for the Spaniards, to the Chinese laborers who replaced them.

Cuban cuisine is a melting pot of ingredients and cooking tech­niques. It is a cuisine of meat lovers: pork and beef dishes are fa­vored, and usually served with rice. Because the sea surrounds Cuba, there are also many delicious fish dishes. And because of the sugarcane crop, Cuban cuisine is often sweet as well as spicy. Sugar is added to many entrées and side dishes. Green vegetables and salads are rarely seen. Fried plantains (green starchy bananas), boniatos (Cuban sweet potatoes), and beans of all types are typical accompaniments at lunch and dinner.

Cuba Libre
There are varying stories circulated as to the origin of the Cuba Libre. The one I like is that it has its origins in the Spanish-American War at the turn of the century when American arrived in Cuba in large numbers. One afternoon, a group of off-duty soldiers from the U.S. Signal Corps were gathered in a bar in Havana when a captain came in and wanted his rum mixed with Coca-Cola and a wedge of lime. The other soldiers decided to give it a try and one of them raised his glass in a toast, “por Cuba libre!” in celebration of the newly freed Cuba. Later on, during the 1970s in the U.S., Cuban exiles would call the drink “La Mentirita” meaning a little lie referring a Cuba that is not free.

2 ounces rum
Juice of 1/2 lime
Coca-Cola

Pour lime juice into a highball glass over ice cubes. Add rum and fill with cola; stir and add a wedge of lime. Serves 1.


Batidos
If you can’t find mango sorbet, any tropical or citrus fruit sorbet will do.

6 ounces mango sorbet
3 ounces vanilla ice cream
1/2 cup chopped fresh mango, plus a mango slice for garnish
3/4 cup cold milk
1 to 2 tablespoons honey
Mint sprigs for garnish

Place all ingredients, except mint and mango slice, in a blender and blend until smooth. Pour into a tall glass and serve immediately. Garnish with a mango slice and mint sprig, if desired. Serves 1.

   

Bison and Ducks, Oh My!

We’re now at the halfway point of summer. It’s at this point that a great many festivals are planned.

If you’re tired of sitting around the house or office complaining about how hot it is, or how rainy it is, or how dry it is, here is a list of some festivals in your area or someone else’s area:

In New York City, the New York Pizza Expo is happening; Seneca has their 14th Annual Garlic Festival. Did you know that 70 to 100 different strains of garlic are cultivated in the Finger Lakes? Rochester is having a Festival of Food. No specifics there.

If you want to take a long ride, Rockland, Maine is having their Maine Lobster Festival; Camden, NJ has planned their Third Annual New Jersey Tomato Festival.

For those more ambitious, Raleigh, North Carolina is hosting a BugFest, which includes a selection of gourmet bug and insect dishes and a critter cook-off.

Morgan City in Louisiana is having a Louisiana Shrimp and Petroleum Festival. Now, there’s an interesting combination. South Dakota is having a Great Plains Bison-tennial Dutch Oven cook-off; Gueydan, Louisiana is having a Duck Festival. They should join in with the BugFest people.

And in keeping with stereotypes, Los Angeles, California is having their 11th Annual Tofu Festival with a tofu-eating contest, and a tofu Ninja photo opportunity.

If you want to use up some frequent flyer miles, London, England is going to be having a jolly good time at their Great British Beer Festival; New Delhi, India is hosting both a Banana Festival and a National Conference on Pulses (that would be lentils and chickpeas and not heartthrobs); Melbourne is having a Taste of Slow Festival which should go hand in hand with their Duck Crawl Convention.

Cairo, Egypt is having the Sahara Agricultural Festival. This one stumped me. The last time I looked, the Sahara was a desert. And though I’m pretty sure you could have a dessert in a desert; I’m not sure you could have a farm in a desert.

In terms of event planning, some do better than others. The Barnesville Potato Days festival in Minnesota will be having a Miss Tater Tot Pageant, a Mashed Potato Sculpturing Exhibit, and will be serving potato soup, potato dumplings, potato pancakes, potato donuts, potato sausage and potato lefse. Lefse is a Scandinavian flat bread made from potatoes.

The Flint Hills Beef Fest in Kansas will be having a barbecue cook-off and a Cow Chip Toss AND Catch.

And the food festival that wins my prize is the ACFSA International Conference in Savannah, Georgia. What is ACFSA, you ask? ACFSA is the American Correctional Food Service Association. Prison food, folks. Anyone up for going to the prison food fest with me?

Norwegian Lefse
4 cups leftover mashed potatoes
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup milk
1 teaspoon salt
About 3 cups flour
Vegetable oil for frying

In a large bowl, add butter, milk and salt to the mashed potatoes; mix well. Gradually, add enough flour to form a non-sticky dough. The less flour you use, the better the outcome. Place in the refrigerator to thoroughly chill and make it easier to roll.

Divide the dough into 24 pieces. Roll each piece out, using flour to keep from sticking. Use care to press lightly with the rolling pin when forming into rounds as they are much more tender than pie dough. The weight of the rolling pin is almost enough to flatten them. Each piece should roll out to size of a tortilla, about 10 inches.

Heat a cast iron griddle over medium heat and add enough vegetable oil just to coat the bottom of the griddle. Place one lefse in griddle. Lefse will bubble. Cook on a griddle until each round feels dry but not crisp, turning frequently.

Cool on a clean dishcloth and cover with an additional towel. Stack pieces on top of each other as they are cooked. The steam released will create a more tender lefse.

Serve rolled up with butter and a sprinkling of sugar. Some people like to use cinnamon sugar, and others spread their lefse with jam before rolling. Makes 24.

  

Explosive Popcorn

Just the other day, I had to ask my husband to put his hands on either side of my head to stop it from spinning. I had just finished reading a news report about the allotment of funding for homeland security.

Apparently, in its infinite wisdom, the Department of Homeland Defense deemed Indiana more of a risk for terrorist attacks than New York, because, and I quote, New York doesn’t have any “national icons.”

After I regained my equilibrium from the head-spinning, I decided to check out the list of potential terrorist targets that the Department of Homeland Security was concerned about.

Are you sitting down?

The Groundhog Zoo in Pennsylvania; the Kangaroo Conservation Center in Georgia; the Sweetwater Flea Market in Tennessee, Weeki Wachee Springs, and Dinosaur World in Florida.

Among the shopping malls, lube shops, petting zoos, and the Mule Day Parade, conspicuously missing is the Statue of Liberty, Times Square, the Empire State Building, and the Brooklyn Bridge. Oh, wait, they’re not “national icons.”

I was relieved to see the Krispy Kreme doughnut shop near Des Moines listed, as well as the Amish Country Popcorn Factory in Indiana. I could sleep better now. I had been concerned about the safety of our doughnuts and popcorn. It’s been weighing heavily on my mind for quite some time.

I really ought to send a thank you card to President Bush and his administration. There are times when I sit down to write my column and think I will never find something to write about this week. And then I pick up a newspaper.

Chocolate Caramel Popcorn
1 cup popcorn, for popping
For the caramel:
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons corn syrup
Scant 1/4 cup water
1 pound bittersweet chocolate, for melting

Pop the popcorn.

To make the caramel: Place the sugar, corn syrup, and water in a large saucepan over medium-high heat and cook until light golden brown. Make sure you use a large pot, as you’re going to add the popcorn to it.

Use a wooden spoon to stir the popcorn into the caramel until it is evenly coated. Pour the caramelized popcorn onto a parchment or wax paper-lined baking sheet and allow it to cool. When cool, use your hands to break up any clumps.

Place the cool popcorn in a large bowl. Melt the chocolate in a double boiler, and drizzle it over the popcorn, stirring with a wooden spoon as you go. Keep adding chocolate until the popcorn is evenly coated. Pour the chocolate-coated popcorn onto a parchment or wax paper-lined baking sheet and allow to cool.

Note: Be careful when you work with the caramel. It is very hot and can burn you easily. Keep a bowl of ice water next to you in case you get caramel on your hands. Makes 4 cups caramel popcorn.

Thatsa Spicy Popcorn
1 cup popcorn, for popping
2 tablespoons melted butter
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Pop the popcorn. Drizzle with melted butter and mix with a wooden spoon to distribute evenly. Combine the spices in a small dish and sprinkle the blend over the hot corn. Mix again with the wooden spoon. Makes enough for 8.

What's the Beef?

Barbecues used to mean hotdogs and hamburgers. However, with changing tastes, healthier diets, and an ever-expanding exposure and awareness of other cuisines, that ole grill in the backyard is host to some interesting foods.

It’s a regular global smorgasbord out there in the yard, and it’s wonderful; it’s the real spice of life.

Found on the grill these days are kebabs, tuna steaks, stuffed trout, and an assortment of grilled vegetables from corn in its husk oozing herbed butter to mint-marinated zucchini slices.

The flavors of Asia, the Middle East, Europe, and every other corner of the world influence our dining and grilling pleasures.

I’ve always felt that a better way for problematic countries and their leaders to settle their differences would be with a good old-fashioned cook-off. Let the Lebanese put their kafta up against Israel’s shisklik. It’s difficult to yell at each other when your mouth is full; and, it’s even more difficult to pick up a gun when your hands are sticky with tahini sauce.

So, fire up the grill, pass the sauce, and let there be peace… at least in your backyard.

Wasabi Scallops
Wasabi paste is available in tubes in many supermarkets. You could also find it in powder form, in which case simply mix the powder with a bit of water to desired consistency.

To grill the scallops, use a vegetable grill pan or you’ll be picking scallops out of the ashes as they fall through the grate.

1 teaspoon wasabi paste
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
1/4 cup soy sauce
1- 1/2 pounds sea scallops

Preheat a lightly oiled grilled to medium-hot.

In a bowl, combine wasabi, brown sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce. Add scallops and marinate for 20 minutes.

Remove scallops from marinade, reserving marinade. Bring marinade to a boil. Remove 2 tablespoons marinade for brushing onto scallops. Boil remaining marinade until it thickens into glaze-like consistency, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat, cover and reserve for serving.

Grill scallops for 2 to 3 minutes per side, or until cooked through, brushing frequently with reserved 2 tablespoons of marinade. Transfer to a platter and drizzle with reserved glaze. Serves 4.

Portobello “Burgers”
Vegetarians aren’t the only ones who will find these a delicious alternative to hamburgers.

4 large portobello mushroom caps, cleaned
1/2 cup barbecue sauce, or to taste
4 hamburger buns
Lettuce
1 large tomato, sliced

Preheat a lightly oiled grill to medium-hot.

Place portobello mushrooms on a platter and brush both sides with barbecue sauce of choice. Grill for 6 to 8 minutes per side, or until tender. Remove from grill.

Place buns on grill, cut side down, for 1 to 2 minutes, or just long enough to make grill marks. Remove and place a grilled mushroom on a bun. Add more barbecue sauce, if desired. Top with lettuce and tomato, or toppings of your choice. I like to top mine with cole slaw. Serves 4.

  

Ice and Salt

One of the best purchases I made when my daughters were young was an electric ice cream maker. It came with a little recipe book for different flavors of ice cream, sorbet, and frozen yogurt.

The girls loved to add the ingredients to the machine from the crushed ice and coarse salt in the tub, to the heavy cream and fruit in the churning can.

We once made pistachio ice cream, and someone (I’m not naming names) put in enough green food coloring to qualify the ice cream as Master of Ceremonies at the Saint Patrick’s Day parade.

None of us ever left the side of the ice cream maker while it was churning away. We watched the process evolve like a newborn babe. Bowls and spoons were on the table ready for the moment the mixture was just right.

Recently, we had weekend guests for the July 4th holiday, and there was mention of homemade ice cream. I was encouraged, okay, forced to find the old ice cream maker up in the attic. There it was sitting next to some forlorn-looking Barbies and My Little Ponies.

After some prodding and the introduction of pliers, the ice cream maker started to do its thing. A half hour later, we had delicious creamy vanilla ice cream that put a smile on everyone’s face.

Down through the years, many stories arose as to the origin and creator of ice cream, with Marco Polo entering into the process. Alas, that is untrue. Facts are hazy, but china seems to be the originator of freezing milk as an icy treat. This was brought to England, and in 1774, a caterer named Phillip Lenzi announced in a New York newspaper that he had just arrived from London and would be offering for sale various confections, including ice cream.

Apparently, the frozen confection took hold, because Dolly Madison, wife of President James Madison, served ice cream at her husband’s Inaugural Ball in 1813.

The first improvement in the manufacture of ice cream, which was previously made in a large bowl requiring a lot of stirring, was by a New Jersey woman, Nancy Johnson, who in 1846 invented the hand-cranked freezer.

Jacob Fussell, now known as the father of the American ice cream industry, began commercial production in Baltimore, Maryland in 1851. Thanks, Jacob.

Now that I dusted off my old ice cream maker, I think I’m going to use it more often again. It might be a little more trouble than driving to the store and reaching into the freezer section for a half gallon, but homemade does taste so much better.

What attracts me now to making homemade ice cream is the fact that I can tweak the ingredients to make it less sweet than store-bought without sacrificing taste. The addition of fresh seasonal fruit makes it so delicious.

If you’re interested in purchasing an ice cream maker, there are many makers available in varying price ranges from $25 to $600. There’s even a hand-crank model for those who really want to stick to “homemade.” Happy churning.

Fresh Summer Peach Ice Cream
You could use 3 cups of half-and-half instead of milk and cream. I used light half-and-half. If you’re concerned about the amount of sugar, use half Splenda and half sugar.

5 peaches (about 1- 1/4 pounds)
1- 1/2 cups sugar
1- 1/2 cups milk
1- 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

In a large pot of boiling water, blanch the peaches for 1 minute and transfer them to a bowl of ice water to stop the cooking. Peel and pit the peaches and in a food processor or blender, purée them.

In a large bowl, stir together the sugar, milk and cream, stirring until the sugar is dissolved. Stir in the purée and the vanilla and process mixture in an ice cream machine according to manufacturer’s instructions. Makes about 1- 1/2 quarts.


Velvety Lemon Ice Cream
1- 1/4 cups heavy cream
1- 1/4 cups half-and-half
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon lemon extract
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon grated lemon zest

Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl. Stir until sugar dissolves. Chill well. Transfer mixture to your ice cream machine and process according to manufacturer’s instructions. Makes 2 quarts.

  

Spummer Is In the Air

Over the years, I’ve come to learn that the Catskills do not have the traditional four seasons.

Though our winters can be severe or mild, and autumn dry, wet, warm or cool, it’s spring and summer that bring the most intense deviations.

We citizens of the Catskills cannot luxuriate in storybook seasons of blossoming trees and singing birds. Spring and summer could bring hailstorms, cold spells, drought and intense heat, or as we saw last week, floods.

Therefore, spring is preceded by what I like to call spinter, a blend of winter and spring, and followed by a season I call spummer, a mix of spring and summer.

During those spinter days when the temperature dips, it’s disheartening to have to turn on the furnace. Afterall, it’s June; fuel bills are supposed to subside in June.

Those are the days I like to pop something in the oven to warm up the house. Trying to stay clear of cakes, pies and muffins, a casserole does the trick.

Normally casseroles are hearty, heavy fare. However, if you stick with an all-vegetable casserole, you get a light yet satisfying warm meal.

So, as spinter still lingers and before spummer, summer, and sumtumn arrives, here are some turn-on-the-oven casseroles to warm your evening and lighten your heart.

Spinter Casserole
3/4 cup couscous
2 medium-sized zucchini, cut in chunks
1 small eggplant, cut in chunks
1 large red pepper, cut in chunks
1 medium-sized onion, chopped
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup fresh or frozen corn
1 cup frozen lima beans
Salt to taste
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1/2 pound Cheddar cheese, shredded
3 cups milk
1/4 cup flour
4 large eggs

Grease a shallow 3- 1/2-quart casserole dish; sprinkle with couscous.

In a large pot over high heat in hot oil, cook zucchini, eggplant and pepper 5 minutes, stirring. Reduce heat to medium; add corn, lima beans and salt to taste; cover and cook 5 minutes. Remove cover and cook 5 minutes more. This is a good time to turn on the oven to 350°F.

In a medium bowl, beat milk, flour, and eggs together.

Add shredded cheese to vegetables and mix. Spoon vegetable mixture over couscous in casserole dish, then top with egg mixture.

Cover casserole loosely with foil. Bake in 350° oven for 1-1/4 hours or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. Remove from oven; let stand 10 minutes before serving. Serves 10. If you like this dish can be served cold on those spummer days when it starts out cold and then gets hot.

 

Just Call Me Ceci

I always make sure I have a stockpile of dried and canned cooked chickpeas in my pantry. I just love these wonderful beans. Not only are they terrific in stews and soups during the cold months, but also they are absolutely wonderful in salads during the summer months.

Chickpeas, also known as garbanzo beans, are native to the Middle East, and are popular throughout India, North Africa, Spain, and southern France. Chickpeas are one of the oldest cultivated foods in the world.

In Ancient Rome, they were so highly valued that Cicero claimed his family name came from the Latin word for Chickpea, cicer arietinum.

Chickpeas are the main ingredient of one of my favorite dishes, hummus. You could go the long way and cook dried chickpeas and sesame seeds to make this Middle Eastern party favorite, or do what I do, and use canned chickpeas and tahini.

Hummus
Two cans of chickpeas
2 to 3 cloves garlic, chopped or to taste
3 to 4 tablespoons of tahini (sesame seed paste)
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

Place chickpeas, 1/2 cup water, lemon juice, garlic and tahini in a food processor or blender. Purée, adding salt and freshly ground pepper to taste. If the consistency of the hummus isn’t thin enough, add either more water or lemon juice to the mix. Place in a serving bowl and drizzle with extra virgin olive oil and garnish with a sprinkling of chopped fresh parsley and chopped black olives, if you like. Serve with pita bread.

As a child roaming through the crowds at the San Genaro Festival in NYC’s Little Italy, I remember seeing strands of roasted chickpeas hung from booths. This special snack actually originates from Turkey, where the chickpeas are roasted and spiced, and called leblebi (say that ten times fast).

Here is a curry-spiced version. The spiciness keeps you from munching on too many at a time, though they are a healthy substitute for chips.

Curry-Roasted Chickpeas
If curry isn’t your thing, try a mixture of the spices you like that add up to 2 teaspoons.

2 teaspoons olive oil
2 teaspoons curry powder
One 15-ounce can chickpeas, drained, rinsed and dried
1/2 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 425°F. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil and set aside.

Heat olive oil in a skillet over low heat, and add curry powder. Cook, stirring until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add the drained and dried chickpeas and the salt, and stir to coat. Pour onto prepared baking sheet to make a single layer and place pan on a rack in the middle of the oven. Roast for 30 minutes, shaking the pan every ten minutes or so, until the chickpeas are crisp and golden.

To lead us into the salad days of summer, a colorful chickpea salad:

Mediterranean Chickpea Salad
One 15-ounce can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
3 plum tomatoes, chopped
2 roasted red peppers, chopped
1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced
1/2 cucumber, peeled, and chopped
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 teaspoon salt

In a large bowl, combine all ingredients. Toss to coat well. Let stand for at least 15 minutes to allow flavors to blend. Serves 8.

You Choose

Without fail, if I write about the unbearable heat a week before my column is actually printed, you can be sure that the week it appears in print there will be frost on the ground.

If I write about the terrible drought, my readers will be reading about it while inundated with a week of rain.

Therefore, let me start by saying that last week, well, actually two weeks for me, I remarked about the heat wave. This week, actually the week before for you, or is it the previous week, I’m writing about the rain, rain, rain, and cold. A vague memory for sure, when you read this. Or not.

Anyway, during that rainy, cold spell we had, or might have had, I made a big pot of soup.

Minestrone is often my soup of choice, mostly because there is no set recipe for this hearty dish. It is usually made from whatever vegetables are on hand, can be vegetarian, or contain meat.

Minestrone, as most everyone knows, originates from Italy. It is believed that monks served the soup to travelers who called at their monastery. That’s a nice thing to believe, whether it’s true or not.

The soup comes from humble origins. No one set about creating a mixed vegetable soup; the soup was made using leftovers and what seasonal vegetables and legumes were on hand. Just about every version of minestrone contained dried beans. Dried beans have a long life, and so this humble soup nourished the Ancient Roman army. It was their sustenance.

Various parts of Italy created their own version of the soup. The people of Genoa add pesto to the soup when it is served. The Milanese add bacon and rice to the vegetables. Ligurian minestrone has the addition of spinach.

In this point in time, you don’t need to use dried beans; you could use canned, and you don’t need to rely on leftovers; you could shop for the ingredients you wish to use at any time of year, whether it be zucchini, spinach or cabbage.

1) Therefore, on this rainy day, a bowl of hearty minestrone could be your only sure thing.

2) Therefore, on this cold day, a bowl of warming minestrone could be your only sure thing.

3) Therefore, on this hot day, a bowl of soothing minestrone could be your only sure thing.

4) Therefore on this snowy day...NOOOOO!


Minestrone
Pancetta is spicy Italian bacon that is cured with salt but not smoked like American bacon. If you can’t find pancetta, use prosciutto (Italian ham) or regular bacon. Feel free to substitute other vegetables in the recipe.

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, chopped
2 carrots, peeled and chopped
2 celery stalks, chopped
3 ounces thinly sliced pancetta, chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 pound Swiss chart, stems trimmed, leaves chopped
1 russet potato, peeled and cubed
One 14.5-ounce can diced tomatoes
1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary or 1 teaspoon fresh
One 15-ounce can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
Two 14-ounce cans beef broth
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley or 1 tablespoon dried
Grated Parmesan cheese for serving
Salt and pepper to taste

Heat oil in a large heavy pot over medium heat. Add the onion, carrots, celery, pancetta, and garlic. Sauté until the onion is translucent, about 10 minutes. Add the chard and potato; sauté for 2 minutes. Add the tomatoes and rosemary. Simmer until the chard is wilted and the tomatoes break down, about 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, blend 3/4 cup of the beans with 1/4 cup of the broth in a processor until almost smooth. Add the puréed bean mixture and remaining broth to the vegetable mixture. Simmer until the potato pieces are tender, stirring occasionally, about 15 minutes. Stir in the whole beans and parsley. Simmer until the beans are heated through and the soup is thick, about 2 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Ladle into bowls and serve with grated Parmesan cheese. Serves 4.

Professor Gadget

Probably the worst time to buy a gift is at Father’s Day. That’s the time of year when manufacturers bring out their useless gadgets and stereotypical “masculine” products.

Browsing through a store the other day, I saw a beverage cooler that plugs into a laptop. You place a soda or beer bottle on top of the cooler platform to chill it at 45 degrees. The added appeal for this gift is that when dad knocks the bottle over and it spills all over the laptop, you get to buy him a new laptop for his birthday.

Another handy device I saw was a coin bank that sorts dad’s loose change. This one had me laughing. If you’re buying dad a gift for Father’ Day, that means he has kids. Dad + kids = 0 money to sort.

Along this line, I saw a coin bank with a clock. The bank looked like someone bending over and the coin slot was… well, use your imagination. With this gadget, when dad looks at the time, it can remind him that one, he has no money, and two, he’s an ass. A very thoughtful gift.

Then there are the usual money clips for all that imaginary paper money, and slot machine banks. What will they think of next!

In the Father’s Day gift section, there is no shortage of compasses, silly coffee mugs, miniature tools like teeny tiny screwdrivers and levelers to carry around, golfing knickknacks, and of course, the inevitable ties and tie clips.

When I reached my teenage years, I realized that all those gadgets and manly Father’s Day gifts were a total waste of money. I decided early on that I would get my dad something we could all enjoy. One year, I got him a Bob Dylan record, and another year, two tickets to a concert we could attend together. Unfortunately, Perry Como was sold out, but Led Zeppelin was terrific that year.

Now in my later years, after all the Father’s Day gifts I have purchased—mostly duds—I have some valuable advice for this Sunday.

Dad doesn’t want paisley pajamas; he doesn’t want a clock with a golf ball attached to it; and he doesn’t want a coin bank that plays, “For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow.”

Give dad what he truly wants. Sit him down in front of a baseball game, place a nice cold beer, and a big bowl of chips and dip in front of him, and hand him the remote. Then slowly back out of the room and leave him in peace until dinnertime. It will be the best Father’s Day he has ever had!

Marinated Grilled Skirt Steak
A long marinating time allows many powerful ingredients to penetrate the meat. The acid in the vinegar and Worcestershire sauce doesn’t just flavor the meat but also breaks down the connective tissue making the meat tender. Serve this with corn on the cob and a chunky warm potato salad.

3/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup canola oil
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
2 shallots, roughly chopped
2 garlic cloves
1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon chopped fresh cilantro leaves
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon coarse kosher salt
4 pounds skirt steak, cleaned of all exterior fat

Put all ingredients, except steak, in a blender and blend until smooth.

Pour the marinade over the skirt steak in a nonreactive pan. Marinate, refrigerated, for 3 to 4 hours before grilling, but no more than 10 hours.

When ready to cook the steak, prepare your grill for grilling. Remove the steak from the marinade and clean away any excess marinade with the back of a knife. Grill the steak over medium-high heat for 4 to 5 minutes per side to serve it rare to medium-rare.

When cooked, slice the steak thinly against the grain, starting at one corner and cutting on the bias. Serve either hot or at room temperature. Serves 8.

  

Bring It On!

Looking out the window past my computer, I see a lush rainforest. The birds are calling to each other as water drips from the leaves of the lush trees and bushes. The bright green of the forest line is now replaced with a darker, more foreboding green.

This past week has been hot, humid, and rainy. Hot coffee and tea is now replaced with iced, cold drinks. I’ve loaded my refrigerator with pitchers of iced tea, cold leftover coffee, and a variety of juices. I also bought vanilla yogurt to make smoothies.

No three-dollar specialty cold drinks at the local Starbuck’s® (if we had a Starbuck’s) or expensive sugary bottled drinks; I’m making my own. It’s really quite simple and inexpensive. For the smoothies you’ll need a blender, but for everything else, all you need is a tall glass and a spoon.

Apple Raspberry Tea
It’s not Snapple®, but pretty darn close.
1 quart apple juice
1 cup water
8 raspberry herbal tea bags
2 orange pekoe tea bags
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
2 tablespoons sugar or sugar substitute

Heat water to boiling. Add tea bags and let steep 15 minutes. Remove tea bags. Pour tea in large pitcher or container. Add sugar or sugar substitute, and lemon juice, and stir to dissolve. When tea has cooled a bit, add apple juice. Stir and store in refrigerator until cold. Serve with lots of ice. Makes enough for 6 thirsty people.

Plain Ole Lemon Iced Tea
The taste isn’t plain, though, but utterly refreshing.
2 quarts water (8 cups)
3 orange pekoe or any regular tea bags
3/4 cup sugar or sugar substitute or to taste
1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons lemon juice

Heat water to boiling in a large saucepan; turn off heat and add tea bags. Cover pot and let tea steep for about an hour. Pour sugar into a 2-quart pitcher or container. Remove tea bags from pot and pour tea over the sugar. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Add the lemon juice, stir and chill. Makes 2 quarts, enough for you and your friends.

Papaya Creamsicle Smoothie
If you can’t find fresh papayas, use canned papaya chunks. Any other summer or exotic fruit works just as well. Try mango, banana, strawberries or a combination that suits your taste and creativity.
2 ripe papayas
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup vanilla yogurt
1 cup ice

Combine all ingredients in a blender and blend on high speed until ice is crushed and drink is smooth. Serves 2.

Frozen Frappuccino
Okay, I lied; for this recipe, you need a coffee maker. Any kind will do.
3/4 cup double-strength coffee, cold
2 to 3 tablespoons sugar
1 cup whole or low-fat milk
2 cups ice

Make double-strength coffee by brewing with twice the coffee required by your coffee maker. That should be 2 tablespoons of ground coffee per each cup of coffee. Chill before using.

Combine all ingredients in a blender and blend on high speed until ice is crushed and drink is smooth. Pour into 2 large glasses and serve with a straw. Makes 2 “Grande” drinks.

To make a caramel version, add 3 tablespoons caramel ice cream topping to the original recipe and prepare as above. Top with whipped cream and a drizzle of additional caramel over the whipped cream. You just save a couple of dollars.

For a mocha version, add 3 tablespoons chocolate syrup to the original recipe and prepare as above. Top each glass with whipped cream and drizzle of additional chocolate syrup over the whipped cream.

All Aboard

Under the pretense of cutting my lawn, astride the lawn tractor I’m able to go on a tour of my property. Unless I made a conscious effort to walk every bit of the 2 acres of lawn, gardens, and perimeter of field and woods, I wouldn’t get to see what’s what.

I notice a few very large anthills during my ride. They’ve been there for years. They don’t house the same ants as 10 years ago, but the hills are still there; sort of like underground condos with new tenants. Actually, the average life expectancy of an ant is 2 months.

The sumac trees at the edge of the woods keep coming, no matter how many times I cut them down. I should probably give up. The berries of the sumac are medicinal when steeped in a tea. The Native Americans made a drink from them that tasted like lemonade and was high in vitamin C.

I noticed that the lily of the valley is spreading. Somehow, it jumped over the driveway and is growing amidst the Chinese lanterns. That’s fine. I love their aroma, and they grow in deepest shade where other plants, except weeds of course, will not. They were my mother’s favorite flower, as well.

I also have favorite spots along my ride. I don’t know why I’m so attracted to these places; something about them pleases me so. There’s that spot where a short stonewall ends away into a little slope. If I had tried to purposely create it, I couldn’t have done as well.

There’s another spot behind the large blue spruce, totally shaded from view. It’s a little circular area and above it are wild vines reaching across the trees to make a protective cover and a natural gazebo. There’s nothing to mow there, but I ride over there anyway just to see it.

The large locust tree is where the girls had their first swing. There’s an old rubber toy discarded at its base, faded, but not forgotten. I’ve left it there and love to come upon it when I mow; it brings back wonderful memories.

It takes close to two hours to mow the lawn, but I don’t mind. I catch up on daydreams, I catch the breeze, enjoy the sun and shade depending on the season, and check out the new growth from both the plants and myself.

Szechuan Ants Climb A Tree
Clear bean-thread noodles (also called cellophane noodles) are dressed with a spicy sauce and flecked with bits of pork. Hence the “ants” of this classic Chinese recipe.

Marinade:
3/4-pound ground pork
2 teaspoons rice vinegar
2 teaspoons soy sauce
1 teaspoon Asian sesame oil

6 ounces bean-thread noodles (cellophane noodles)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 cup thinly sliced scallions
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon minced fresh gingerroot
1/2 teaspoon dried red pepper flakes or to taste
1-1/2 cups chicken broth
3 tablespoons sherry (optional)
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon rice vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon Asian sesame oil

Marinate the pork: In a small bowl, combine the pork gently with the vinegar, soy sauce, and sesame oil. Marinate for 20 minutes.

In a bowl, soak the noodles in warm water to cover for 15 minutes, drain, and cut them into 3- to 4-inch lengths.

In a wok or large heavy skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat until it just begins to smoke. Stir-fry 1/4 cup of the scallions, the garlic, and ginger for 30 seconds.

Add the pork and the red pepper flakes and stir-fry the mixture, breaking up the lumps, until the meat is no longer pink.

Add the noodles, broth, sherry, soy sauce, vinegar, and sugar and simmer, stirring occasionally, for 3 to 5 minutes, or until the noodles have absorbed the liquid.

Transfer the mixture to a platter, drizzle it with the sesame oil and sprinkle with remaining 1/4 cup scallions. Serves 4 to 6.

Mixing It Up

Chances are that if the NSA has been monitoring phone calls, they sure must be monitoring emails and pouring through newspapers gathering information.

Therefore, since they’re listening, I’d like to tell them, “HEY. STOP IT! And, while I have their attention, I’d just like to say that I really, really don’t like this administration and the reasons are too numerous to list. There!

Oh, and one more thing: last week a friend gave me a recipe for All-American apple pie and I think I wrote down the wrong amount of flour. So, could you please go through my phone calls for May 17 and check how much flour I was supposed to use? Thanks.”

I would call my friend back, but she’s unavailable now; I think she’s in Guantanamo. Apparently leaking info on apple pie recipes is considered an infraction of the Patriot Act.

While I’m on the subject, has anyone noticed that ever since Bush’s re-election in November the color-coded alerts have disappeared?

All this brings me to salad dressings. (You have to figure out why.) I love salads and I love trying new dressing concoctions along with old stand-by and traditional dressings.

Since we never question mixing from scratch new dressings, why not make homemade classics. They’re really quite easy to whip up. All the ingredients are right there in your pantry.

The reason I started doing this is because my all-time favorite dressing, Green Goddess, seems to have been taken off the shelves. I found a recipe, tweaked it a little, and now make my own. After that, making homemade Thousand Island, French, and Russian dressing was as easy as tossed salad.

The best part of making homemade dressing is that you eliminate all those awful additives the commercial companies put into the dressing, and you could make the recipe more or less to your particular taste.

Green Goddess-Chive Dressing
The original Green Goddess dressing recipe includes anchovies. I like anchovies as much as I like President Bush, therefore you won’t find it in this recipe. However, if you’re anchovy-prone feel free to add 6 finely chopped anchovy fillets to the ingredients when blending. I also added chives to this recipe just because the chives in my herb garden are in mass now.

1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup sour cream (or plain yogurt)
1/3 cup coarsely chopped fresh chives
1 garlic clove, peeled and chopped
1 tablespoon tarragon or white vinegar
1 teaspoon chopped fresh tarragon or 1/2 teaspoon dried
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

Combine all ingredients in a blender container and blend until smooth. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Cover and refrigerate. Makes about 1- 1/3 cup.

Russian Dressing
In my house, this dressing is mandatory on a turkey sandwich.

1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup chili sauce or ketchup
2 tablespoons finely minced pimiento-stuffed olives
1 tablespoon finely minced green bell pepper
1 tablespoon minced chives
1 chopped hard-cooked egg
2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh parsley

In a small bowl, blend all ingredients together. Makes about 1- 1/2 cups.

Lime-Cilantro Dressing
This is my second favorite dressing. I once purchased a very expensive jar of this dressing, never to find it again. I saved the ingredient label, and after much trial and error, came up with a very close replica.

1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup rice or cider vinegar
1/2 cup coarsely chopped fresh cilantro
1/4 cup minced red bell pepper
1/4 cup honey
4 teaspoons Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons sesame oil
2 teaspoons lime juice
2 cloves garlic, minced
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste.

Combine all ingredients in a blender container and blend until cilantro is chopped finely but not entirely puréed. Cover and chill. Makes about 1- 1/2 cups.

Made with Lovage

Every day brings change in the garden in the spring. You could almost watch the buds bursting open, and seedlings inch their way toward the sun and its warmth.

Just last week, I was raking autumn’s leaf debris off my herb garden exposing tiny new growth peeking out of the ground. Today, my lovage is in full growth, and the chives are brandishing little pink flowers on their tips.

The lovage has been the best addition to my herb garden. I honestly don’t know how I managed without it all those years. I certainly can’t make tuna salad without it; its addition is essential.

For those not familiar with lovage, this tall herb is in the parsley family, but is similar in taste to celery with a hint of lemon and fennel.

Lovage originates in Southern Europe and was one of the most prominent flavors in Ancient Roman cooking. In Germany, lovage is used often to flavor potato salads.

I only use the lovage leaf from my garden, though the seeds of the flowers are used as a spice as well. In fact, what is sold as “celery seed” is often partially or entirely ground lovage seed.

The seeds are used to flavor breads, potatoes, dressings, salads, and cordials.

The leaves are used in cheeses, eggs (it’s wonderful in an omelet), salads, stews, and with chicken.

In Turkey, they make a meatloaf using allspice, garlic and lovage ground with the meat, which is then served with yogurt and mint.

Lovage leaves can be used in any recipe that calls for celery leaves, just use less, as lovage is twice as strong in flavor as celery.

If you find lovage seeds for sale in your garden center, snatch them up. This old timey herb plant will add new timey taste to your dishes.

In lieu of a recipe for tuna salad, which needs no recipe, here is one for a rich clam chowder using lovage. Prepare to be blown away. You will lovage this.

Lovage Clam Chowder
2 tablespoons butter
1 cup of chopped onions
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 cup vermouth
2 cups heavy or light cream
1 large potato, grated (1 cup)
1 cup clam juice
1 cup fresh lovage leaves
1 cup chopped scallions
1 cup minced clams
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Sauté the onions and garlic in butter in a large saucepan over medium-low heat just until softened, but not browned.

Add the vermouth, cream, potato, and clam juice. Bring the mixture to a simmer and cook just long enough to soften the potatoes, about 20 minutes. Do not let it come to a full boil.

Add the lovage and scallions to a blender container. Pour the soup base on top of the herbs and blend until smooth. Pour back into the pot, and when you are ready to serve add the clams and gently reheat the soup. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serve immediately. Serves 4.

Peas and Carrots Salad
1 pound fresh peas
1- 1/2 pounds carrots, sliced
3 tablespoons mayonnaise
3 tablespoon plain yogurt
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1- 1/2 tablespoons chopped fresh lovage leaves

Combine carrots with peas and steam for no more than 15 minutes. Cool slightly.

Mix together the mayonnaise and yogurt. Add Dijon mustard, and fold in the lovage, followed by the steamed peas and carrots. Allow to cool completely before serving. Serves 4.