Mellow Mallows

I’m taking a break from sneaking political opinion into this food column, because it’s just too stressful. Writing is not too stressful; it’s all the latest political intrigue that’s stressful.

I’m starting to have nightmares. Just last night, I dreamt I had climbed a whole lot of steps at an almost 90° angle up to a building. And when I reached the top, George Bush was there. I glanced warily over my shoulder at the long drop down the stairs (heights scare me lately), and said to George, “It’s a long way down.”

Whereupon (not too many people use that word these days) he said, “Yup, it is.” And he stuck his finger at me and pushed me over the edge. Luckily, I awoke at the 50th step and third bounce down.

Too stressful.

And then just the other day I was watching Scott McClellan duck questions from the press; all I could think of was the time my parents took me to the circus for the first time. One of the acts was a man tied to a spinning circle while his partner threw knives at him. I’m worried for Scott. Eventually, one of those knives is going to hit him, and he’s going to have to answer a question. I don’t think he could handle it; I know I can’t.

So, this week, since politics and global happenings are just too stressful and because I’ve had Scott McClellan on my mind, I’m going to write about marshmallows.

You might ask, “What exactly is a marshmallow?”

I asked my computer the very same question. My computer replied that it is a confection made of sugar or corn syrup, gelatin, and flavoring. The original recipe used an extract from the root of the marshmallow plant (a shrub like herb) and was enjoyed by the Ancient Egyptians.

Marshmallows were produced commercially in the late 19th century. The mixture was pushed out a tube, cut into sections and rolled in a mixture of cornstarch and confectioners’ sugar.

Life would be dull and unamusing without marshmallows. There would be no roasting marshmallows around a campfire and watching them go up in flames and reduced to the charred gooey mess that we all love.

Personally, I like it when they are just lightly browned all around. It takes years of practice to perfect the placement of the skewered marshmallow over the flame so that it does not ignite.

From roasting marshmallows, it’s a short jump to making S’mores. No one knows who started this phenomenon; however, in the 1927 Girl Scout Handbook there is a recipe combining marshmallows with chocolate and graham crackers.

Without marshmallows, hot chocolate would be just a bowl of heated chocolate and milk. With marshmallows, cocoa becomes an event. And if you’re lucky to find colored marshmallows, well, life just doesn’t get any better.

There are some trendy cafes now that serve cups of hot chocolate with homemade marshmallows. Sure, they’re overpriced, but when the wind has been kicking up and the cold is going through you like a knife; when the vice-president is trying to kill people, and when the president is selling our ports to the Arabs, it’s a luxury that is well worth it.

If you want to make your own marshmallows at home, here’s a recipe that makes a really close clone to those specialty café confections.

Marshmallows
3 envelopes unflavored, unsweetened gelatin
1/2 cup water
2 cups granulated sugar
2/3 cup corn syrup
1/4 cup water
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
Confectioners’ sugar

Combine gelatin and 1/2 cup water in the bowl of an electric mixer with whisk attachment. Let stand 30 minutes.

Combine granulated sugar, corn syrup, water and salt in a small heavy saucepan; place over low heat and stir until sugar has dissolved. If you have a candy thermometer, clip it on the saucepan, and raise heat to high. Cook syrup without stirring until it reaches 244° (the firm-ball stage). Immediately remove the pan from heat.

With mixer on low speed, slowly and carefully drizzle syrup into the softened gelatin. Increase speed to high; beat until mixture is very thick and white and has almost tripled in volume, about 15 minutes. Add vanilla (if you want to tint your marshmallows, this would be the time to add food coloring). Beat again to incorporate vanilla.

Grease bottom and sides of a 9x13-inch pan with butter and dust with confectioners’ sugar. Pour marshmallow mixture into pan and smooth top with a spatula. Dust top with confectioners’ sugar; let stand overnight, uncovered, to dry out.

The next day, invert the pan on a cutting board that is lightly covered with confectioners’ sugar. Release the marshmallow from the pan by pulling from one corner and working it loose from the pan.

An easy way to cut the marshmallows is to use a large wet pizza wheel, dredging each piece in confectioners’ sugar until the sides are not sticky anymore. Place the marshmallows on a cake rack covered with paper towels and let them stand overnight to dry the surface slightly. Store in an airtight container and they will keep for a month. Makes about 40 large marshmallows for enough cups of hot chocolate until the spring thaw.