Mixing It Up

Chances are that if the NSA has been monitoring phone calls, they sure must be monitoring emails and pouring through newspapers gathering information.

Therefore, since they’re listening, I’d like to tell them, “HEY. STOP IT! And, while I have their attention, I’d just like to say that I really, really don’t like this administration and the reasons are too numerous to list. There!

Oh, and one more thing: last week a friend gave me a recipe for All-American apple pie and I think I wrote down the wrong amount of flour. So, could you please go through my phone calls for May 17 and check how much flour I was supposed to use? Thanks.”

I would call my friend back, but she’s unavailable now; I think she’s in Guantanamo. Apparently leaking info on apple pie recipes is considered an infraction of the Patriot Act.

While I’m on the subject, has anyone noticed that ever since Bush’s re-election in November the color-coded alerts have disappeared?

All this brings me to salad dressings. (You have to figure out why.) I love salads and I love trying new dressing concoctions along with old stand-by and traditional dressings.

Since we never question mixing from scratch new dressings, why not make homemade classics. They’re really quite easy to whip up. All the ingredients are right there in your pantry.

The reason I started doing this is because my all-time favorite dressing, Green Goddess, seems to have been taken off the shelves. I found a recipe, tweaked it a little, and now make my own. After that, making homemade Thousand Island, French, and Russian dressing was as easy as tossed salad.

The best part of making homemade dressing is that you eliminate all those awful additives the commercial companies put into the dressing, and you could make the recipe more or less to your particular taste.

Green Goddess-Chive Dressing
The original Green Goddess dressing recipe includes anchovies. I like anchovies as much as I like President Bush, therefore you won’t find it in this recipe. However, if you’re anchovy-prone feel free to add 6 finely chopped anchovy fillets to the ingredients when blending. I also added chives to this recipe just because the chives in my herb garden are in mass now.

1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup sour cream (or plain yogurt)
1/3 cup coarsely chopped fresh chives
1 garlic clove, peeled and chopped
1 tablespoon tarragon or white vinegar
1 teaspoon chopped fresh tarragon or 1/2 teaspoon dried
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

Combine all ingredients in a blender container and blend until smooth. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Cover and refrigerate. Makes about 1- 1/3 cup.

Russian Dressing
In my house, this dressing is mandatory on a turkey sandwich.

1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup chili sauce or ketchup
2 tablespoons finely minced pimiento-stuffed olives
1 tablespoon finely minced green bell pepper
1 tablespoon minced chives
1 chopped hard-cooked egg
2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh parsley

In a small bowl, blend all ingredients together. Makes about 1- 1/2 cups.

Lime-Cilantro Dressing
This is my second favorite dressing. I once purchased a very expensive jar of this dressing, never to find it again. I saved the ingredient label, and after much trial and error, came up with a very close replica.

1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup rice or cider vinegar
1/2 cup coarsely chopped fresh cilantro
1/4 cup minced red bell pepper
1/4 cup honey
4 teaspoons Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons sesame oil
2 teaspoons lime juice
2 cloves garlic, minced
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste.

Combine all ingredients in a blender container and blend until cilantro is chopped finely but not entirely puréed. Cover and chill. Makes about 1- 1/2 cups.